I got a little cocky writing my Tumblr bio a couple weeks ago.
"Landed the dream job, bought the dream house, drive the dream car, and still dreaming."
And then just like I was brought to my knees and humbled.
Welcome to the wild world of Advertising Caroline.
I think I took it better than I should have [mostly because I was in shock]
And for once in my short life I could 100% say, this isn't fair.
This wasn't suppose to happen to me.
I was the kid who had a double minor, graduated in 4 years, had two job offers before graduation, worked my ass off, always took the role of group leader, was always one of the last to stay and first to come to group meetings. And yet, it still happened to me. I was one of three let go due to unforeseen circumstances.
After driving home in dead silence [again, shock. not so much awe.] Mom was standing there waiting for me [still in her work out clothes.] After a lot of hugs, not so many tears, and a couple f-bombs we found ourselves were we always end up just sitting and chatting, the red chairs in the family room. What next? I was suppose to go guest lecture at Tennessee in the social media class, do I tell Dr. C? How do I tell my little brother? How do I tell the guy I'm dating? How do I tell my best friends? So, I answered all the questions with the universal solution of Sonic, a nap, and two Excedrin. When I got up I had no idea what day it was, it all felt like a dream. So I wandered into the office and found mom sitting at the computer. I plopped down on the floor and we starting talking, not about my career [or what was left of it] but just shooting the breeze when she asked "Hey, what was your Jesus Calling reading today?"
Good question Julie. I had been in such a rush to pick up prescriptions at the pharmacy and get to work early that morning I forgot to read it before zooming off. And when I finally did read the passage for that day I laughed. OF COURSE that was the passage for that day.
"Trust me in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm- your peace in My Presence- need not be shaken. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in your little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch My Peace.
Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid."
I've been meaning to write this post for a while now. Just couldn't find the time to sit down and really write something good, something genuine, not dramatic or self pitying. And after two days of good news, two days of laughing with the little brother over episodes of Friday Night Lights and shambly brownie baking, two days of waking up in my old room, and two days of so much love and support I might just register for that half marathon in November [kidding] I felt like I could write this. Dad has been saying since that morning I showed up with some interesting mascara going on, it's gonna be okay and it's gonna be better. So here's to better. Here's to the still dream loft, the still dream car, and the next step in my career [dreamy or not.]