"and I am the worst of them"

I've been struggling with a lot of little things lately, little things that eat away at you and plague your mind when you're sitting in traffic or standing in the shower. But one that has been on my mind an awful lot this week has been not running the half marathon this year.

I feel like a failure, a loser, a fake. 

It's an extremely crap-tastic feeling to answer no when people ask "Hey, aren't you running this weekend?" 

I was a Psych minor in college and I think this guilt and failure feeling associated with the half is me projecting feelings of failure and loser from other situations in my life right now. I have friendships changing, work projects that never seem to have an end result of YAY and approval, still no second dates [ever], and no third medal I set out this year to add to my Half Crazy board. 

But then I think of my little brother Joe. The kid runs 15 miles for practice and balls out with a sub-5 miles. And yet he's never run an organized half marathon. Why?

He doesn't feel like he needs to. 

I never stopped my training program on my Nike+ Running App so I still get out there and pound it out at least 3x a week and have broken my mile record twice since deciding not to run 13.1 this coming Saturday. So maybe I just need to adopt the Joe philosophy in life a little more often, well for running at least. 

My mom has always joked that the entry fee is too much and she'll set up a course for me and make me a medal. And this year I might just take her up on that! 

So good luck to everyone who is running this year and don't let that 10 mile wall hit you as hard as it always has me. Don't be afraid to walk, listen to your body. And always always sprint that finish line! 

#tbt