We all die trying to get it right

I feel like I've lost my blogging "something." That blogging umf/inspiration/anything besides a list.

I don't have link-ups and bloggers I've met and will get coffee with. [I just love reading link-ups my friends do.]

At the same time I don't want to unload my life on the blogosphere because let's be honest y'all do not want to read that mess. 

But here I am feeling overwhelmed, underwhelmed, exhausted, angry, scared, and excited all at the same time.

 Life got really hard in about a 20 minute time frame last Monday and I'm still trying to get my footing from it. It was like a band-aid getting ripped off really fast, but not a little one you get after a shot. It was more like one of those huge ones that covers up your whole knee and you have really hairy knees. 

There were a lot of emotions being felt and not a lot of time to process them. So I ate Sonic for dinner and fell asleep watching Bravo DVR, the logical 24 year old coping method. 

Now just to clarify, nothing bad happened. 

Everything that was happening was great for my life/career.

After a couple dates with a guy I had decided the feelings weren't there and I was happier just me.

I wasn't going to date someone just to be dating someone.

He's a great guy just not my guy.

I was the one that made the decision. Not like I got dumped. I was making my life decisions.

And then I realized I'm 24 and exhausted with dating. Marriage is like that dot you draw way at the top of the paper when drawing a landscape [and then draw your lines to it to make your road]  I literally can't see it happening for me it's so far off. 

I love my job and working late and working weekends and doing what I want when I want to.

I would also like to love someone [and be loved.]

I got more responsibility at work. 

I got a new client to buy for. I got another client to audit for. I'm now head auditor.

Which lead to me eating sushi and crying in the Publix parking lot.

This "life" thing is bizarre.

There's just a lot of emotions and I'm not good with that.

Friends are moving on to different stages of their lives [please do not get me wrong, I absolutely love watching their lives and careers takeoff] and I feel like I'm being left out no matter what I do. I'm the single one that lives downtown. 

And yet I'm the one who keeps myself single and enjoys working too much.

Now the sonic meltdown makes sense right?

I didn't start this post with a point or life lesson to be made.

But if you're going through this too or constantly feel like "I don't know what to do with my hands" you are not alone. 

I know I will probably find someone and get married and have kids [even though I told mom this weekend I've decided I don't want kids] and everything will be fine. Heck, everything is fine. 

But if I slow down for long enough I just get a little overwhelmed.

And then drive to Sonic..