Days like this

So, this life thing. It gets easier right? Because right now, I speak for a good number of us when I say, this is a lot more miserable than magical. 

"It gets better." 

I'll be completely honest and say I'm tired of waiting for it to get better. I wake up every morning like it's Christmas, "ooooo is it better yet?" You feel beaten down, exhausted, broke as a joke, and if you're like me- kind of alone. I have some of the best friends in the world, but not all of them are with me here in Nashville so 95% of the time I feel like I don't have any friends. I've found life is 99% a mental game with yourself, and you are the best at beating yourself up. It wasn't until my doctor finally said it for it to get through my stubborn head, your first years of your 20s aren't [or suppose to be] easy. It's a traumatic experience, going from college (where all of my stuff was paid for) to living at home for a year to save (where 50% of my stuff was paid for), to owning a freaking loft downtown (all me). Nothing I can't overcome, but it's gonna take some time and work. Being the youngest at work, stood up by guys, and throwing away half the dinners you make doesn't make it any more fun. But if the past two months has taught me anything, don't be embarrassed to admit you're struggling. You will never grow, never get better, never be happy if you keep it inside and try and fix it yourself. That does nothing, besides drive your mom crazy. You can only cry it out in the shower for so long. If you have the support system I do, someone's gonna crack and drop the "W" word, I'm worried about you. I always complain to mom that I bust my ass for people/friends all the time and no one ever asks me if I'm okay. And like always she made a good point, "maybe they don't think you need anything." When really, no matter how stubborn we are [ or like to come off as] we could all use something (at least every now and then) So I finally said it, I need help. I don't want to feel like this anymore. And today starts the new chapter of the new book of my 20 -something life. I hear people say this and as cheesy as it may be [judge me if you must], but I am way too blessed to be stressed.